Tales from the Coop – 6

They have done it again!

Over the last few weeks, the new Barred Rocks have settled in well, the ridiculous games of endless 3 a side football, cricket and ‘hide the hen’ have continued with the baby girls getting used to the action. They have now grown to full size and their little combs are turning redder by the day.

Their overall attitude seems to have improved and less demanding and definitely more user friendly. The only downside is that now winter is fast approaching, the egg production has reduced to one a week!

The other day the head hen herder noticed that Betty Bottom Hen had food and sticky goo all over her face. The bird was duly scooped up and brought indoors to be cleaned and polished, this is where the troubles began. After having the mess removed and liberal application of hen Vaseline, Betty was allowed a few minutes to roam around the lounge. Have you ever seen a hen watching the news? No nor have we!

We went out and upon returning we couldn’t believe our eyes, in the back of the run there are two breeze blocks for the girls to rest on when exhaustion sets in after the daily football world cup match. There were three hens laying in a line against each block, there were placards with atrocious spelling around the run stating they wanted insulation in their hen house or else. Hensulate Britain’s hen houses sit in was now in place. I hadn’t noticed that the bottle of UHU glue had been filched by the sneaky hen earlier. They had glued their beaks to the breeze blocks!

Hen stupidity at its finest! They didn’t realise that glue won’t stick to hen poop which liberally covers the blocks, basically they had just laid down with no thought to what the outcome and disruption would bring… After all they have insulation in the roof of their hen house plus two waterproof/windproof covers, what more could they want? I suspect they want gold plated hen food and international recognition for sticking their beaks to their own poop!

What the feathered morons are unaware of the TV news bulletin refers to social housing, not bijou custom made two storey palatial hen house fit for the finest birds… sadly our 6 lazy, ill-educated, cloth eared feathered reptiles have the very best. Typical, so taking my revenge I just sat in the conservatory and waited. Sure enough after 10 minutes they worked out the cavalry wasn’t coming, so they just stood up and carried on as normal. I suppose it was funny watching them play hen rugby with a lump of hen poo stuck to the side of their faces.

Once again, I will say this, never get hens they will always try to have you over and ruin your day.

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